I recently attended a "report book" performance for my gals' enrichment class. It was termed as such as it was meant to be a sort of report book for what the child has done in this whole year culminating in this performance.
To be very frank, it was a performance I thoroughly enjoyed.
Not because it was professionally done. Far from it as kids as young as 4-6 years old missed steps, forgot where they had to go at what point. Older kids forgot their turn to speak, rushed in to speak when it's not yet their turn, spoke out loud on stage that "Hey, I haven't said my lines yet!" All these were met with good natured laughter, kind reminders from the teachers and it was all good fun, little stress and the kids were all high after their performance :)
It was a night where both the kids and the parents had fun despite it being a "report book" performance.
Flash back to a prize ceremony where I attended just a few weeks before this. The performances were almost flawless, wonderfully and professionally done. The teachers and principal were all puffed up with pride. Did I enjoy that? Err, actually no.
Hubby and myself were left with a sense of helplessness as we watch the performances. Those were kids up there, from 7 to 12. Yet they performed as if they were little adults, professional smiles were constantly there, stress could be seen on their faces before the performances, anxiousness abound as they wait for the applause to come in. They were professional, polished and prepared - the 3Ps, I call it.
Both performances were a showcase of what they have learnt. Both audiences consisted mainly of parents, grandparents, siblings, teachers, peers. Both set of performers were kids, all under the age of 12. Why the huge difference?
I too, am unsure. But deep in my heart, I am glad, very glad, that my gals belonged to the 3Fs - Fun, Foundation & Flourish of the former performance. They were there, to have fun, to build up their foundation and then to flourish and blossom in the direction that is best for them. They learn how to laugh at their selves, how to forgive when someone forgot their lines and how to help each other, working as a team. Yes, even the 4-5 years old could do that! Their performance were simple fun yet it also showcased what they have learnt, of working together, working as a team.
I am lucky, very much so, to have parents like mine. At so many years ago, they were wise enough to understand that my childhood will only happen ONCE. No many how much money they may have, this is the one thing that they cannot buy back for me. I was given the absolute privilege of simple play, unstructured time on my own, for my imagination to fly through the window and go to faraway places. I was never told what books to read. In fact whenever they bring me to a bookshop, it was because I wanted to. I was given a free rein to read, be it science, paranormal, history, geography, magic, myths and I can go on and on. I was taught the simple beauty of my mind, being able to develop my interests and most importantly, I had fun. I was given the right to have fun.
I was never told that having fun or playing, was wrong. In fact my dad especially, encourages it. He will sit down and be our "customer" when we play cooking. He will be our pupil when we play teacher. He will be our audience when we hold a concert. He ferociously protected our play time whenever we were told that we should study or be sent to learn this or that.
Looking back, it was weird but when we were in the schooling age, from Primary One onwards, both my sister and I will do what is needed. We studied without being screamed at. We do our work and assessments without being forced to. We studied extra hard nearing exam time. All these were done without our parents nagging by our side.
Where did we learn that? Well. I would like to think that my parents taught me that through their actions. They told me, by their actions, that there is a time for everything. When it was time for me to play and develop at my own pace, I was given that. When it was time to study and make sure I get decent grades, I should do that too.
I hope to bring that to my own kids. I tried my best to protect their childhood, refusing to give in to the "you should send them to..." and the "they should already know..." talks that I faced, countless as soon as I had my firstborn. Well meaning friends and relatives advised and recommended many things, from right brain development class to Shichida method course, from piano to violin, 心算 to foreign language classes. All these "should" be done before they start formal schooling, to give them a better chance (at?) and to give them a better start.
There were many times, countless in fact, that I doubted my belief and questioned myself if I am indeed giving the kids the best or am I just making them lose out even before the rat race started? Here, I am glad to have hubby dearest. He being the MCP that he was (still is) and the unwavering belief that kids SHOULD be kids and not small adults, will put me and my wayward thoughts firmly in place. He absolute refuses for them to go to such classes, saying that they should just play. Even till now, when my gals are in formal education, he refuses to send them to such classes, preferring for them to have time to play, be themselves and develop their interests. If all else fails, he wants them to sleep sufficiently, watch news and read.
For parents who send their kids to these classes, I know and completely understand that it is indeed meant for their good and development. Parents will only want the best for their kids. We want them to be better persons than ourselves. We want them to have more of what we had or what we could give. The only difference, the definition, I guess, of what is good for them.
My firstborn asked me few years ago, what I want for her. I answered simply - happiness. If she is truly, deep from the heart happy about what she is doing, then I am ok by it as long as it is above the law and it doesn't harm anyone else. I hope for her to understand and appreciate what she can do, will do and could possibly do.
For me, the chasing of any dreams, any achievements, any statuses is to ultimately be happy. If one, could find happiness in the simple things, then one will be happy more often and more easily. This is what I want my kids to have.
Naïve? Maybe...
Simple-minded? Perhaps...
Real? Definitely!
As I see my firstborn blossom, learning to do many things, developing her interests and shouldering responsibilities, I am heartened, above all others, that she is a happy cheerful child. One who do not hesitate to pick up things that dropped from the shelves in the supermarkets. One who will literally jump into her storybook if she could do so. One who gleefully hides and scares her younger sister silly. One who believes in Santa Claus. One who sources the app store for games that will entertain her baby brother just so that I can have some 5-mins peace. One who sings her favorite Frozen songs as she ploughs through her Maths assessment.
She is definitely not polished, not flawless but she is her own self, happy, natural and above all REAL. I must be doing, at least something, correct :)
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