My firstborn had all along
been going to maths group tuition since 2 years ago. Despite my misgivings
about sending her to tuition at such early age (yes, I am a non-believer as u
can tell) I had to admit that even with my best efforts, there are some
questions that simply make me tear my hair out! So, in view of keeping some resemblance
of hair and retaining my sanity, we decided to send her to a very highly
recommended group tuition.
Mind you, despite it being
group based, the fees were not cheap. I remembered raising my eyebrows when we
saw the fees but sighz, like all parents, I signed her up for it, feeling all
guilty that I wasn't able to teach on my own and had to subject her to so much
more extra stress :(
My firstborn, though not overjoyed, understood and consoled me even that now I could keep my hair intact :P She gamely took that up and even though it was quite the distance from our house, she saw it through, keeping a smile on and hardly giving me problems, just the occasional grumble.
My firstborn, though not overjoyed, understood and consoled me even that now I could keep my hair intact :P She gamely took that up and even though it was quite the distance from our house, she saw it through, keeping a smile on and hardly giving me problems, just the occasional grumble.
2 years on and despite the
efforts from both herself and the teachers there, her results slipped :( I
chatted with the teachers several times, trying to find out what was wrong.
After several sessions, we established that though she likes the company and
"competition" of being in group tuition, she was severely lacking in
the focus and attention span area, making it difficult for her to reap the full
benefits of it.
Some background...my
firstborn is dyslexic. She was diagnosed pretty late, only at age 5 going onto
6. I was very shocked and saddened by this, blaming myself for not noticing the
signs earlier and getting help for her faster. I remembered how hard It was for
her to recognize alphabets, how she will get a slap on the hand from me for
being "mischievous" by writing mirror images of the alphabets.
Oh! How much I regretted all these! I knew there was such a learning disability yet it never occur to me that my own child could have it! I shielded away from calling her "special", hated the words "learning disability" and hated myself most for not noticing earlier. It was a very demoralizing and very hurtful period for me, as a parent and mostly, as a mommy :(
Oh! How much I regretted all these! I knew there was such a learning disability yet it never occur to me that my own child could have it! I shielded away from calling her "special", hated the words "learning disability" and hated myself most for not noticing earlier. It was a very demoralizing and very hurtful period for me, as a parent and mostly, as a mommy :(
To cut a long story short,
having short attention span was part of the bigger dyslexic problem. We had to
find some ways to overcome this. After much discussion, we agreed on home
tuition.
Yes, finance is already tight, being single income family now.
Yes, we need to literally scrimp and save to make sure there is enough to go around.
Yes, there is no guarantee that home tuition will definitely do the trick.
I felt bad for laying this on my hubby :( but I am truly comforted by his usual gruff and short words "even if we had to double the money paid, if it helps her, we can do it." There wasn't any finger pointing, grumbles etc, just acceptance, find best possible solution and move on from there.
Yes, finance is already tight, being single income family now.
Yes, we need to literally scrimp and save to make sure there is enough to go around.
Yes, there is no guarantee that home tuition will definitely do the trick.
I felt bad for laying this on my hubby :( but I am truly comforted by his usual gruff and short words "even if we had to double the money paid, if it helps her, we can do it." There wasn't any finger pointing, grumbles etc, just acceptance, find best possible solution and move on from there.
The end of the group tuition
era was emotional for my firstborn. After all she had been with the class for 2
years. Friendships were forged and companionship appreciated. She prepared some
gifts for them, took time for a class photo and she came home contended,
knowing that she now need not waste traveling time that leaves her simply
exhausted. It is times like these that I am heartfelt-Ly (yes, I know, there is no such word :P) thankful for a mature
and sensible firstborn.
She doesn't make a fuss, listens and tries to understand from our point of views, accepts and move on. Oh! She does have her moments of freaking out, when she is overwhelmed with stress. She cries, hides in her blanket and refuse to face the world. Yet she had always been able to reconcile within herself, talk to me and then move on from there. My heart simply pains from all the hardships that she has had in her route in academic studies but she had shown me how much strength she has and I hope that she will grow even stronger as she blossom.
She doesn't make a fuss, listens and tries to understand from our point of views, accepts and move on. Oh! She does have her moments of freaking out, when she is overwhelmed with stress. She cries, hides in her blanket and refuse to face the world. Yet she had always been able to reconcile within herself, talk to me and then move on from there. My heart simply pains from all the hardships that she has had in her route in academic studies but she had shown me how much strength she has and I hope that she will grow even stronger as she blossom.
The start of home tuition was
eventful. She was un-used to such focused attention from the tutor and her
short spans of attention doesn't help too. I stayed in for the first 2 sessions,
wanting to make sure she is comfortable before leaving her alone. She has now
gotten (more) used to it but still wary and not entirely comfortable. Alot
better but this will take time :)
A comparison between the 2 types of tuition...
A) Home tuition is definitely
more expensive but if like us, you need to factor in travel time (loads of it)
and the exhaustion then home tuition may still end up a better choice.
B) Attention and focus wise
there is of course a huge difference. Despite her group tuition having a small
class size, if your child similarly has very short attention span then group
tuition may not exploit her full potential. Yet at the same time, be wary of the
one-on-one pressure that comes from home tuition though group tuition has its
fair share especially with competition in the class. My gal's class was
fortunate that it was mostly friendly competition.
C) The friendship that comes out from group tuition can be quite strong aka being in the same boat in terms of assignments etc. Then again a good home tutor can be equally effective in terms of motivation and push factor.
I am actually pretty
surprised that so much can be written on this topic! There are quite abit to
consider especially when we try our best to take consideration of all factors
including her feelings. I spoke to her before making the final decision,
wanting to know her feelings if we go ahead with the change. My sensible gal
said that she is definitely happy not to have to travel so far for group
tuition and return home exhausted *doing a jiggle* but she wasn't sure how home
tuition will be like *grimace* :) A typical reply from my little expressive
young woman who still is a child at heart!
To lighten up this heavy post, here's some true but hilarious look at dyslexia. If my gal at the tender age of 5 could face it with a smile, then I will definitely learn from her!
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